How did we decide to adopt?

Looking back, the process we went through deciding to adopt was so unlike us. We are big-time planners. We usually have our pros and cons list and talk to others and research big decisions for a few months at least. This was so different. That is why we have no better way to explain it other than a "calling."

Now that we have been asked a few dozen times "HOW" we decided to adopt, we have had time to reflect on how God had planted that seed years ago. I remember as a little girl that I was simply heartbroken to watch evangelical television stories from Africa, seeing pictures of starving children, and hearing adoption stories. Even as a child, I knew I wanted to become a nurse or teacher. As a school psychologist now, I get a bit of both worlds. Anyway, my heart for the less fortunate and for kids in general was cemented a long time ago.

Another seed was our 10 years in the Kansas City area. Our oldest son will still never forgive us for moving north to South Dakota his freshman year of high school! He loved the big city, and especially the diversity of people. We recall him trying to describe a good friend of his after his second grade musical program at school. I asked what she looked like. He said she had a pink shirt, dark eyes, and about a hundred braids. His 7-yr-old birthday party had 3 children of a different race, and Dane is still teaching us to appreciate "color" in our lives.

In 2006, Dane then traveled to Cuba with Bruce on a mission trip. They held baseball clinics and worked on a church there. The experience profoundly touched both of them. They were most touched that a people with so little could be so full of joy and faith. They fell in love with the people there and knew that their list of "wants" would be much shorter on their return to the US.

My youngest sister, Joelle, has increased our world-view, too, with her study in China and trips around the world. Her sincere desire to understand the people and to appreciate their culture was something we thought we could not relate to...but she was obviously quietly teaching us through her experiences.

Finally, our church has been instrumental...in so many aspects of our "walk" but also in this decision to adopt. Through Sunday School Chrismas boxes we've filled to needy kids in other countries, Bruce's work in the Mission Commission, and a concert by the African Children's choir...God was knocking on our hearts. We left the Christian music LifeLight Festival this Labor Day knowing we needed to go online and finally sponsor a child. We would have a child to pray over and support, and they would know that they were not alone.

The day was September 15th, 2008. Our teenage daughter Bailey and I sat at the computer and browsed websites of various orphanages and sponsorship programs. Twice, the site for Lighthouse Adoptions came up. We clicked on "waiting children." We were mesmerized by a young girl at the BRESMA orphanage in Haiti. When Bruce got home from work, we rushed him into the office and showed him the pictures on the website. At the top, an older girl with braids in every direction and a shy grin. At the bottom, a younger girl sitting on a woman's lap laughing. Near each was their story. You could choose to sponsor them while they waited 1-3 years to be adopted by a family. Both said they were intelligent and needed families who could meet their "special needs."

We turned to look to Bruce. He was quiet and had tears in his eyes...and then suggested that it seemed odd to "sponsor" one of these children, when we were sitting in one of our two available bedrooms, in a family that loved kids/parenting, and with the means to adopt them as part of our family forever. I would've loved a picture of Bailey and I at that moment. We were ecstatic. "Are you serious?!" I agreed to call the adoption coordinator, Diana Boni, that next day for more information on the girls' availability and what their specific "special needs" were. (More on the story regarding how we decided on two older children later....)

Seriously, that is how quickly we decided to adopt from Haiti. And, honestly, there has not been a moment since that the decision has not made perfect sense. Yes, we laugh and say, "What are we doing?!" as we picture how our lives will change and as we try to financially cover the many costs. But, we don't doubt for a second that it is exactly what God had planned for our family. He led us back to this town, to this new home, to my part-time job with summers off, and to a church with great supportive faithful friends. He laid all those experiences before us. He opened our hearts. And then he burdened our hearts for these kids LONG before we considered adoption. So, when the decision came, it was clear and quick. THAT is how God works!