Precious Phonecall from Haiti

We were able to call the kids while our adoption coordinator, Diana, was visiting there early October. She does not yet have a cell phone with speaker phone capabilities, but she did her best to interpret for us. As she searched for "our girl," she put Pierre on the phone. He said timidly, "Ah lo?" Bruce greeted him and told him it was "dad." Pierre responded again, "Ah lo?" It must be awfully strange for them to hear these foreign voices on the end of the line and not be sure what to say. Bailey jumped in to say, "Hi Pierre!" He excitedly answered, "Hi Mom!" When I asked him how he was doing, he said, "I'm good." And he sounded good, as well, as he said hi to Nate and Bailey as if they were long lost buds. Then, Ange-Laurette got on the phone, with her much-improved English. She seemed to understand most of what we said, answering, "I'm fine. Me love you, too." When Bailey emphasized that she missed her, Ange-Laurette genuinely responded, "Me, too."

We asked Diana to tell them that Nate is taking good care of Pierre's soccer ball and truck....that Bailey's friends are excited to meet them...and that we will visit in January. She shared their comments: Pierre said that he needs to come to South Dakota because he loves South Dakota (that on a day we were getting our first snow and freeze!). Ange-Laurette wanted us to know that she prays for us everyday. Both were eager to tell us how hard they have been working in school. They would send school work with Diana to give us and we would be proud.

We asked Diana to tell Pierre that it was ok that he was sad on our last visit to Haiti. She quickly explained that he would not be at all embarrassed for crying...that is an American thing. :) We asked her to describe Ange-Laurette's hair for the day. Ange-Laurette described the pony tails and barrettes, adding how happy she was that it was getting so long. I asked her to have Diana take a photo for us. Ange-Laurette shocked us all by saying, "Diana already did!"

We were all beaming ear to ear! Their joy was obvious and the connection between all of us was so real. Bruce said, after we said our long goodbyes, that he could actually picture them here in our home with us, for the first time! Later that week, we received these priceless photos of our babies. We cannot thank Diana enough for moments and photos like these!!

Bailey's descriptive paper for school

"Driving through the streets of Haiti is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. As we begin our trek down the bumpy road, every sense is quickly overwhelmed. The first sensation is of the extreme heat and foul smell of exhaust. I recognize how pale I must look to the hundreds of African descendents.

Our navy van nears the city. Lining every cement wall is coiled barbed wire. As I look up the mountainside camouflaged with rivers of trash and roofless houses, my heart breaks. A smile returns to my face. Strutting along the pathway are joyful children heading to school. The dozens of beads in their hair match the billboards we pass. I almost bounce up and down on the sticky leather seats picturing the two siblings I will soon meet.

Jerking to a halt, I fly forward in my seat. Wincing, our driver stops for a group of men ripping a lady's fruit out of her arms. Beep! Beep! We're off again. Our van darts down the street, dodging women with baskets upon their heads. White UN vehicles kick up loose gravel as they pass. The Caribbean music on the radio and smell of spicy foods fill the air. A bony, stray dog slinks among the trash lining every curb. Dark-skinned Haitians sit in the scorching sun. Their tired bodies are eager to sell used luggage, worn sandals, colorfully painted tiles, and all types of fruits.

At last, my senses are relieved as we turn onto a quiet back road. My heart leaps when we come to a stop at an orange metal gate. Behind the orphanage wall comes laughter and excited Kreyol chatter. Seeing the bright smiles of my new brother and sister make the long journey well worth it."

Wish we knew the words...

Each time an adoptive family visits, they are welcomed by a song or two from the children at BRESMA2. We could learn a thing or two from the nannies who are somehow able to get 40 children to sit still, to wait as long as it takes for the parents to come inside, and to sing with all their gusto. It is truly amazing that these children can be so well behaved with so little structure and without traditional parenting day-to-day. They have a much stronger sense of what it means to share and they are open with each other regarding their feelings and thoughts.
Still, there is the taking of each others' things and a pecking order the little ones must detest. Bailey had brought hair accessories for the girls when we arrived. She carefully gave a red headband to the smallest girl in the group. Almost immediately, one of the bigger boys pulled it out of her hand and put in on himself. She was sad but did not look surprised, and certainly did not fight it. We laughed to know that the joke was on the older boy, who looked a bit silly in a red headband anyway. :)

We were unable to locate any of the items we have previously sent the kids. Ange-Laurette showed us her High School Musical bag from our last trip, but it only had a few items within. They continue to accept gifts we send shyly and never want to return to BRESMA with their special things. Understandable. Still, we will do our best to brighten their days and send small packages with each visiting family that we can. We want to shorten the times between visits by letting them know they are thought of and loved!

Pierre Cardin turns 9!

Neither child has celebrated their birthdays before. Parents do know the birthdates of their children but do not go as overboard as we do in the US! They do not have the means to buy gifts and make birthday cakes, but they do find ways to celebrate special occasions such as a relative visiting by having a meal together and maybe adding meat. We wanted Pierre to feel special by celebrating his birthday, which had been August 22nd. I had packed unfrosted cupcakes in a tupperware container and spread on frosting/sprinkles when we arrived. We sang "Happy Birthday" and Pierre "blew" out the unlit candle, with a friend from BRESMA2 who was staying at the hotel.

This trip, Pierre had a more difficult time. He tended to pout and go off on his own when he was corrected (more so by me than by Bruce). He acted much more like our younger son than the 10 or 11 year old we assumed he was, based on his height and full mouth of adult teeth. On the last day of our visit, we invited his birthmother to the hotel. Two American missionaries joined us and willingly interpreted our conversation with her. The information we learned was invaluable! Pierre's birthmother was very adamant that he was born in 2000 and had indeed just turned 9 years old. She explained that his father and two older brothers are very tall (taller than Bruce) and that they were judged as older than their true age also. When asked how best to respond to his pouting tendency, she said that she offers much attention and comfort. The interpreters further explained that mothers in Haiti tend to "serve" their sons, rather than discipline or tell them what to do. THAT, in a nut shell, explained what we had observed for the previous few days. Pierre is just a young boy who is not used to a "mom" like me. :) He is also a very caring, sensitive person...which makes all of this much more difficult. But the fact that he is acting more like himself tells us he is trusting us and bonding well.

Bailey meets Pierre and Ange-Laurette

One of the harder things to put into words is how amazing our teenage daughter Bailey was on this trip. We had no question how she and the kids would hit it off, but we had no idea the joy and energy she would have about it all. She ate up every minute until she crashed at night, at the same early bedtime they seemed to need. They talked to her as if she could understand their quick Creyole, and vice versa. You never would have guessed that they spoke two different languages. Bailey had brought walkie talkies that helped them try out their much improved English as they walked throughout the hotel grounds. That was one of the greatest surprises this trip...that they had obviously been working on their English and were very eager to share as much as they could, right down to ABC flashcards with vocabulary words to match.

The other awesome surprise was how much healthier they seemed. From skin tone, to scalp, to eye brightness, to less bulging tummies, they just seemed vibrant and content. Neither was as famished, as they demonstrated by not eating every morsel from their salads and not rummaging as often through the snack bin. The "super food" they have been receiving is worth every penny any mission group wishes to spend. The difference in just a few months, for all the kids at the orphanage, is life-changing in their learning, their energy, and their health.

One of the things Bailey has been studying up on is all the ways she can do Ange-Laurette's hair. She didn't waste any time getting practice! Pierre joined in! With the heat index of 119 degrees, we spent long days in the pool and afternoons playing games or doing crafts in our room. They progressed from their early fears of the water to Pierre doing canon balls from the side and laying on the bottom of the pool...and to Ange-Laurette teaching herself to do 50 bobs and multiple somersaults underwater. Their determination and courage will come in handy in the years ahead.

Finally ready to share about Trip 2

The delay in sharing the details from our second trip to Haiti are two-fold. One reason is simply the day-to-day things that have kept us on our toes since returning: catching up with Nate, returning to work issues, getting back into tennis/soccer games of the kids, a trip to the Black Hills with my family, etc. But the second reason for the delay in writing is more intentional. This trip was unlike the first. It hit our hearts hard and has been much more difficult to put into words. This photo was taken on our drive to Mnpls where we caught our plane. We prayed then and there and knew God was traveling with us. Still, this feeling lingered that left me concerned about more than the heat we would face in Haiti. As excited as I was to spend time with the kids and as certain as I was that the bonding would only grow stronger....I was sensing how much harder it might be to see the reality of their life there...and how difficult it would be to explain to them that we would be leaving again. And that it was!

Preparing for our Second Visit

We knew that our son's August wedding would help ease the long 5 1/2 month wait between visits to Haiti....and it did! The wedding was all we prayed for ~ touching, fun, and memorable! We were able to sit back and watch this child that we raised turn into a man right before our eyes. His genuine toasts, his emotion, and his seriousness in making such a commitment were evident. We were so proud of him....and so thankful to our God. Even the most fragile and tumultuous of beginnings....even the most difficult of situations...they cannot hold down the plans of God and his special purpose in each life he creates.

This led us to believe more than ever that God is also in control of this adoption process. He can lead loving mothers to place their hopes in an orphanage....and can lead those children from the orphanage to our home here....while holding each of the people involved in his loving arms throughout the process. The heartache is different for each person, but so is the inner joy in the eventual outcome.

So, here we are, only two weeks away from seeing Pierre and Ange-Laurette again! This time, our teenage daughter will travel with us and meet her new brother and sister for the first time. As we lay out their clothing for each day and select the toys and treats they might like, it again seems surreal. How we can feel so connected and IN LOVE with these two is amazing. Last night, I laid awake for two hours in the night, envisioning our reunion and what we might want to be sure to tell them when interpreters are available. I thought of moments I would want to capture on camera and video. I tried to picture the whole thing from their viewpoint as well.

We do ask for your prayers: for the hurricanes this season to stay far from Haiti, for our flights to arrive and leave on the days scheduled, and for continued bonding just like our last visit. We also pray for the hearts of these children and their birthmothers...that God would calm their fears and fill them with joy at the opportunities they have chosen for the children they love.