A Merry Christmas in Haiti!

We received these photos of Pierre and Ange-Laurette receiving their packages from Santa. This was the celebration the mission group Answered Prayers organized. They made decorative paper chains, taught handwashing and food preparation, and shared the individualized gifts we had been able to send down in November. Both kids look so good!!! Actually ALL the kids and nannies were beaming from ear to ear!

Ange-Laurette is now 9! Her birthday was on Sunday. Another family was arriving in Haiti that day, so we sent along a birthday surprise for her. We will celebrate again when we see her in January, with cupcakes like we had brought along for Pierre last time. Ange-Laurette is a petite 9 but has the life-experiences of a much older girl. Her huge grin tells us she is doing well and likely enjoying her new participation in a nearby school Monday through Friday. It will be fun to see her new school skills in math...although we are most excited to just hear that laugh of hers!

Pierre was hard at work in other photos from the mission trip. He could be seen in any shots of kids doing artwork or coloring pages. He outlines each object before coloring it in...and he takes it all seriously until completion. We will need to make room on the frig for all the masterpieces he is sure to bring home from school one day. :)

How much we miss them!!

Just a quick entry to share how much we are missing Pierre and Ange-Laurette! The holidays are so bittersweet: one of our favorite times as a family but also without two very special kids here to join us. We know that they will be receiving their Christmas boxes within the next week. We also know that my parents are working hard to send the orphanage some of the fortified rice packets from a mission they support, Kids Against Hunger. We celebrated my dad's birthday this September packaging over 2500 meals! My niece was part of another packaging that actually may end up in Haiti. It is a wonderful mission and so much more meaningful once you have seen firsthand the difference in a child once they receive the nutrients they so desperately need.

We have two learning opportunities in the next week. We will join a webinar tomorrow and then a conference call on Tuesday to learn more about the steps in the Haitian adoption process. Bruce and I are eager to learn absolutely everything we can to help prepare us....and to help the kids adjust to this new culture, while still maintaining as much as we can of their own culture and traditions. Please say extra prayers this Christmas, for all the children just like ours who are without a family and without even the necessities of life this holiday season. Pray that Christian mission groups reach out beyond our borders to touch their lives in significant ways!

Christmas Stockings en route!

Every year, Answered Prayers sponsors a Christmas Stocking Drive complete with a Haitian Santa Claus and presents for each child and nanny at BRESMA. Parents are invited to sponsor their own children if they would like. They didn't have to ask US twice! We also chose to sponsor one of the nannies. We had fun choosing these recommended items for each: an outfit, sandals (hard to find in SD in November!), soap, toothbrush, book, and a couple toys. It is so fun now that we know their favorites in characters, types of toys, and colors. Since it is Christmas, we didn't worry as much either about if it was a toy that would get destroyed or if it could be shared easily. All the kids would have something their very own (for the day), so we could splurge. :) Ange-Laurette got a doll with hair, which she always requests. Fixing hair is a BIG thing in their culture, and she does it well! We also found a "skipper" which they spin around one ankle as they jump. That will keep her endless energy channeled. :)

For Pierre, we enclosed an "American futbol" for him and the other big boys. That will be a skill he will definitely want to have once he arrives here, between his younger brother's obsession and the recesses with other boys at school. Then, we added his hero, Spiderman, on a battery operated 3-wheeler. I can see all the younger kids making their Spiderman hand gestures now! We so wish we could be there to witness the frenzy when the packages arrive. It is so much like our Christmas morning....yet so very different. I was laughing with the postal worker as I mailed each child's package yesterday: If only we could limit our American children's gifts to one shoe box in size!

We prayed they'd sense our love as they were opened. Bon fet Noel, to our kids a world away!

PRESIDENTIAL DISPENSATION....GRANTED!!!

Last night we thought we heard the phone, in our sleep, about 11 p.m. Then, I got that sinking feeling that it might have been one of those emergency phonecalls and went to check the message. It was Diana with the phonecall she promised...anytime day or night~

We had received Presidential Dispensation to legally adopt AND both Pierre Cardin and Ange-Laurette's cases had moved out of IBESR (Haitian social services). This is the longest, toughest, and most unpredictable step. This is the place so many before us had gotten "stuck."

Diana explained that this marks the halfway mark. Things usually proceed in a more orderly fashion after this....and the adoptions should be complete within 9 months. It also means that bringing the kids home during the warmer months in South Dakota is a likelihood! We will have time to adjust as a family before having to deal with school!

We will now begin to plan our January visit, where we will finally get to bring Pierre his Granmay Gran (my mom)!

Precious Phonecall from Haiti

We were able to call the kids while our adoption coordinator, Diana, was visiting there early October. She does not yet have a cell phone with speaker phone capabilities, but she did her best to interpret for us. As she searched for "our girl," she put Pierre on the phone. He said timidly, "Ah lo?" Bruce greeted him and told him it was "dad." Pierre responded again, "Ah lo?" It must be awfully strange for them to hear these foreign voices on the end of the line and not be sure what to say. Bailey jumped in to say, "Hi Pierre!" He excitedly answered, "Hi Mom!" When I asked him how he was doing, he said, "I'm good." And he sounded good, as well, as he said hi to Nate and Bailey as if they were long lost buds. Then, Ange-Laurette got on the phone, with her much-improved English. She seemed to understand most of what we said, answering, "I'm fine. Me love you, too." When Bailey emphasized that she missed her, Ange-Laurette genuinely responded, "Me, too."

We asked Diana to tell them that Nate is taking good care of Pierre's soccer ball and truck....that Bailey's friends are excited to meet them...and that we will visit in January. She shared their comments: Pierre said that he needs to come to South Dakota because he loves South Dakota (that on a day we were getting our first snow and freeze!). Ange-Laurette wanted us to know that she prays for us everyday. Both were eager to tell us how hard they have been working in school. They would send school work with Diana to give us and we would be proud.

We asked Diana to tell Pierre that it was ok that he was sad on our last visit to Haiti. She quickly explained that he would not be at all embarrassed for crying...that is an American thing. :) We asked her to describe Ange-Laurette's hair for the day. Ange-Laurette described the pony tails and barrettes, adding how happy she was that it was getting so long. I asked her to have Diana take a photo for us. Ange-Laurette shocked us all by saying, "Diana already did!"

We were all beaming ear to ear! Their joy was obvious and the connection between all of us was so real. Bruce said, after we said our long goodbyes, that he could actually picture them here in our home with us, for the first time! Later that week, we received these priceless photos of our babies. We cannot thank Diana enough for moments and photos like these!!

Bailey's descriptive paper for school

"Driving through the streets of Haiti is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. As we begin our trek down the bumpy road, every sense is quickly overwhelmed. The first sensation is of the extreme heat and foul smell of exhaust. I recognize how pale I must look to the hundreds of African descendents.

Our navy van nears the city. Lining every cement wall is coiled barbed wire. As I look up the mountainside camouflaged with rivers of trash and roofless houses, my heart breaks. A smile returns to my face. Strutting along the pathway are joyful children heading to school. The dozens of beads in their hair match the billboards we pass. I almost bounce up and down on the sticky leather seats picturing the two siblings I will soon meet.

Jerking to a halt, I fly forward in my seat. Wincing, our driver stops for a group of men ripping a lady's fruit out of her arms. Beep! Beep! We're off again. Our van darts down the street, dodging women with baskets upon their heads. White UN vehicles kick up loose gravel as they pass. The Caribbean music on the radio and smell of spicy foods fill the air. A bony, stray dog slinks among the trash lining every curb. Dark-skinned Haitians sit in the scorching sun. Their tired bodies are eager to sell used luggage, worn sandals, colorfully painted tiles, and all types of fruits.

At last, my senses are relieved as we turn onto a quiet back road. My heart leaps when we come to a stop at an orange metal gate. Behind the orphanage wall comes laughter and excited Kreyol chatter. Seeing the bright smiles of my new brother and sister make the long journey well worth it."

Wish we knew the words...

Each time an adoptive family visits, they are welcomed by a song or two from the children at BRESMA2. We could learn a thing or two from the nannies who are somehow able to get 40 children to sit still, to wait as long as it takes for the parents to come inside, and to sing with all their gusto. It is truly amazing that these children can be so well behaved with so little structure and without traditional parenting day-to-day. They have a much stronger sense of what it means to share and they are open with each other regarding their feelings and thoughts.
Still, there is the taking of each others' things and a pecking order the little ones must detest. Bailey had brought hair accessories for the girls when we arrived. She carefully gave a red headband to the smallest girl in the group. Almost immediately, one of the bigger boys pulled it out of her hand and put in on himself. She was sad but did not look surprised, and certainly did not fight it. We laughed to know that the joke was on the older boy, who looked a bit silly in a red headband anyway. :)

We were unable to locate any of the items we have previously sent the kids. Ange-Laurette showed us her High School Musical bag from our last trip, but it only had a few items within. They continue to accept gifts we send shyly and never want to return to BRESMA with their special things. Understandable. Still, we will do our best to brighten their days and send small packages with each visiting family that we can. We want to shorten the times between visits by letting them know they are thought of and loved!

Pierre Cardin turns 9!

Neither child has celebrated their birthdays before. Parents do know the birthdates of their children but do not go as overboard as we do in the US! They do not have the means to buy gifts and make birthday cakes, but they do find ways to celebrate special occasions such as a relative visiting by having a meal together and maybe adding meat. We wanted Pierre to feel special by celebrating his birthday, which had been August 22nd. I had packed unfrosted cupcakes in a tupperware container and spread on frosting/sprinkles when we arrived. We sang "Happy Birthday" and Pierre "blew" out the unlit candle, with a friend from BRESMA2 who was staying at the hotel.

This trip, Pierre had a more difficult time. He tended to pout and go off on his own when he was corrected (more so by me than by Bruce). He acted much more like our younger son than the 10 or 11 year old we assumed he was, based on his height and full mouth of adult teeth. On the last day of our visit, we invited his birthmother to the hotel. Two American missionaries joined us and willingly interpreted our conversation with her. The information we learned was invaluable! Pierre's birthmother was very adamant that he was born in 2000 and had indeed just turned 9 years old. She explained that his father and two older brothers are very tall (taller than Bruce) and that they were judged as older than their true age also. When asked how best to respond to his pouting tendency, she said that she offers much attention and comfort. The interpreters further explained that mothers in Haiti tend to "serve" their sons, rather than discipline or tell them what to do. THAT, in a nut shell, explained what we had observed for the previous few days. Pierre is just a young boy who is not used to a "mom" like me. :) He is also a very caring, sensitive person...which makes all of this much more difficult. But the fact that he is acting more like himself tells us he is trusting us and bonding well.

Bailey meets Pierre and Ange-Laurette

One of the harder things to put into words is how amazing our teenage daughter Bailey was on this trip. We had no question how she and the kids would hit it off, but we had no idea the joy and energy she would have about it all. She ate up every minute until she crashed at night, at the same early bedtime they seemed to need. They talked to her as if she could understand their quick Creyole, and vice versa. You never would have guessed that they spoke two different languages. Bailey had brought walkie talkies that helped them try out their much improved English as they walked throughout the hotel grounds. That was one of the greatest surprises this trip...that they had obviously been working on their English and were very eager to share as much as they could, right down to ABC flashcards with vocabulary words to match.

The other awesome surprise was how much healthier they seemed. From skin tone, to scalp, to eye brightness, to less bulging tummies, they just seemed vibrant and content. Neither was as famished, as they demonstrated by not eating every morsel from their salads and not rummaging as often through the snack bin. The "super food" they have been receiving is worth every penny any mission group wishes to spend. The difference in just a few months, for all the kids at the orphanage, is life-changing in their learning, their energy, and their health.

One of the things Bailey has been studying up on is all the ways she can do Ange-Laurette's hair. She didn't waste any time getting practice! Pierre joined in! With the heat index of 119 degrees, we spent long days in the pool and afternoons playing games or doing crafts in our room. They progressed from their early fears of the water to Pierre doing canon balls from the side and laying on the bottom of the pool...and to Ange-Laurette teaching herself to do 50 bobs and multiple somersaults underwater. Their determination and courage will come in handy in the years ahead.

Finally ready to share about Trip 2

The delay in sharing the details from our second trip to Haiti are two-fold. One reason is simply the day-to-day things that have kept us on our toes since returning: catching up with Nate, returning to work issues, getting back into tennis/soccer games of the kids, a trip to the Black Hills with my family, etc. But the second reason for the delay in writing is more intentional. This trip was unlike the first. It hit our hearts hard and has been much more difficult to put into words. This photo was taken on our drive to Mnpls where we caught our plane. We prayed then and there and knew God was traveling with us. Still, this feeling lingered that left me concerned about more than the heat we would face in Haiti. As excited as I was to spend time with the kids and as certain as I was that the bonding would only grow stronger....I was sensing how much harder it might be to see the reality of their life there...and how difficult it would be to explain to them that we would be leaving again. And that it was!

Preparing for our Second Visit

We knew that our son's August wedding would help ease the long 5 1/2 month wait between visits to Haiti....and it did! The wedding was all we prayed for ~ touching, fun, and memorable! We were able to sit back and watch this child that we raised turn into a man right before our eyes. His genuine toasts, his emotion, and his seriousness in making such a commitment were evident. We were so proud of him....and so thankful to our God. Even the most fragile and tumultuous of beginnings....even the most difficult of situations...they cannot hold down the plans of God and his special purpose in each life he creates.

This led us to believe more than ever that God is also in control of this adoption process. He can lead loving mothers to place their hopes in an orphanage....and can lead those children from the orphanage to our home here....while holding each of the people involved in his loving arms throughout the process. The heartache is different for each person, but so is the inner joy in the eventual outcome.

So, here we are, only two weeks away from seeing Pierre and Ange-Laurette again! This time, our teenage daughter will travel with us and meet her new brother and sister for the first time. As we lay out their clothing for each day and select the toys and treats they might like, it again seems surreal. How we can feel so connected and IN LOVE with these two is amazing. Last night, I laid awake for two hours in the night, envisioning our reunion and what we might want to be sure to tell them when interpreters are available. I thought of moments I would want to capture on camera and video. I tried to picture the whole thing from their viewpoint as well.

We do ask for your prayers: for the hurricanes this season to stay far from Haiti, for our flights to arrive and leave on the days scheduled, and for continued bonding just like our last visit. We also pray for the hearts of these children and their birthmothers...that God would calm their fears and fill them with joy at the opportunities they have chosen for the children they love.

Priceless

Thanks to another adopting mom who visited Haiti last week, we just received the photos below of Pierre and Ange-Laurette. It came at the best time! Have you ever had one of the days/weeks where you were just in a funk? Then, there is this phonecall from an old friend or a fun letter in the mail? That is how we felt. We knew so many families had visited this summer. We also knew that our two kids would be watching these reunions and seeing their friends return from days at a motel....without OUR visit within sight. Without new photos or contact, the whole process starts to seem less real, yet the hole in our hearts remains. So, when I opened email to find 3 photos of them out of the blue, my spirit soared!We are sure that Pierre grew a couple inches! We are more certain than ever that his birth certificate (stating that he is soon turning 9) is a ways off. We will take care of that when they finally arrive home, through a dentist and doctor professional estimate of their ages. The next photo taken in the front yard area of the orphanage as the other family arrived shows Pierre and Ange-Laurette watching, with his hand on her shoulder. We were touched by his gesture and the bonding that is obviously taking place between them. We do have to emphasize that so many wonderful, fun things are going on at home here in South Dakota. This blog is not our family blog with day to day happenings. It's purpose is to share details of the adoption that might help others...and that will keep our friends and family up to date on our progress. Even in our conversations with others here, Pierre and Ange-Laurette come up as often as our other kids do. They are equally a part of the family...not more of a focus but also not less loved. Our kids understand that and feel the same way. That being said, we have to share that our oldest son and his fiance will be married in two short weeks! After nearly 5 years together, they will start their lives as husband and wife in the Twin Cities area. We can hardly wait for that fun weekend!! Bailey finished her summer softball season on a new team with a ton of pitching success and several new friends, for her and us! We had a fun Bible study on teenage topics Tuesdays this summer with her 9 friends. We've been blessed with her receptiveness and her determination to follow Christ. Nate has his last swimming lesson today and has become a fish this summer. He has grown nearly as much as Pierre appears to have! We have noticed how much he needs a live-in buddy like Pierre, as he always is asking to have a friend over to play. Nate is talking more about the kids in Haiti and saying how well he thinks they will get along. THAT we will continue to pray about! :) I should laugh at my complaints of crazy days, juggling just two children's activities this summer. We have no idea what the future holds!

Always on our minds ~

There's never a short response to "How was your trip?" There just simply is no way to describe it without giving God all the glory. His hand has been evident in each aspect of this adoption process. It makes us a little sad when people look at us skeptically when we say that...or when they underestimate the power of prayer throughout the past few months. But we will keep giving credit where credit is due! It has been 3 months now since our trip to Haiti. We won't be able to visit again until September. As the months have passed, our emotions have taken the typical roller coaster ride that many adoptive parents experience. We definitely left a piece of ourselves there at BRESMA. There are not many hours that pass without thinking about Pierre and Ange-Laurette, just like we do our other 3 children. They are missed at the table and in the car and at each family gathering, as if we all knew them for years.

We sent each of them a small photo album with all the pictures we had taken in Haiti. Our adoption coordinator, Diana, delivered them in April when she visited. She also had us call so Pierre and Ange-Laurette could sing me happy birthday. This time, Diana was able to interpret a few of the things they said, which meant so much. They listed a few requests: that we send a doll with hair, good smelling body lotion, super hero figurines, and Gran-may-gran (my mom)! They insist that my mom join us for one of the trips. How can kids already know the spoiling that is bound to happen?! Diana also surprised us with a Mother's Day package of artwork and notes the kids had done for us while she was there at the orphanage. Above are a few of their drawings next to the next packages we sent their way.

As tough as it is to know we have 3 more months before we can see them, we choose to stay positive...knowing that they will be safe and cared for until the day they join us. We eagerly await each new photo through email, from either the nannies or our adoption coordinator. Each photograph (even if we just catch a glimpse of them in the background) is so treasured! One day we received an email that a huge donation of superfood had arrived to their orphanage, after years of being held in customs for needed paperwork and fees. There was a photo of Pierre holding his personal packet. Each child would be able to have one meal a day, to supplement their other food, for 3 months. Another photo showed Ange-Laurette close-up enough to see that her new tooth had grown in! The photos remind us that they are doing well.

The most recent photos were taken as they opened packages we had sent with other visiting families. These are especially fun to see! A friend bought us a kit to iron photos onto t-shirts for them. Pierre's t-shirt had a photo of our two sons at a football game; Ange-Laurette's said "my new family" in creyole and had all 3 kids from our trip to an amusement park last summer. I'm not sure who enjoys the gift packages more: Pierre and Ange-Laurette or ME, as I get to shop for them and think through what might be most meaningful. The most fun part is trying to include a handwritten note with photos, in both English and my attempt at Creyole. It's a treat to be able to send things, and we hope it lets them know that we remember their favorites; we miss them; and we love them like crazy!

The question: How could you leave them?

Parents commented before we made the trip, "I don't think I could leave them once I met them!" We have heard this as many times as we have heard, "Why does the adoption process take so long?!" They are fair, but tough, questions/comments. For us, Pierre and Ange-Laurette led the way. They seemed to have a better understanding of the process...of the long time it takes...and of the reasons their birthparents chose adoption for them. We had one sad night where Pierre had a tear running down his cheek before bed. And this photo was taken on the ride back to the orphanage. They kept hoping our answer to "when are you coming back" would change. Many parents would return in June, but we needed to wait until September. As we arrived, Pierre conceded: "Oke. Septanm." They ran inside, with their backpacks filled with enough toys and treats to share with all the kids there. They would be King and Queen for the day, along with the other two families' kids returning. We handed out the purses we had gotten for the nannies there. An interpreter helped us with a conversation with Pierre's birthmother. It was an emotional yet sweet time as we both shared how God had answered our prayers at the same time. We told her, "We love Pierre already." She responded, "I love you already." The kids mingled with their friends and gave quick hugs goodbye.

We held back our tears until the van door closed and we heard the youngest girl crying for her mother, who sat behind us. The trip to the airport was long...and the scenery even harder to watch pass by. But it reminded us exactly WHY we are doing what we are doing...and how life changing this will be for these kids.

Dakota or BRESMA?

The night before we were to leave, I took the advice of another parent and drew two pictures: one of our house and luggage with a plane: DAKOTA (since that is what they called our home); and one of the orphanage with all the kids and their two backpacks: BRESMA (the name of the orphanage). We laid out all the clothes, toys, jewelry, and snacks on the bed. As I held up each item, I asked "Dakota or BRESMA?"

THIS was my toughest moment...because (with the exception of food items) they almost always said "Dakota." They knew that anything that returned with them would become free game for all the kids, would eventually get ruined, and would not remain special. So, even their new favorite stuffed animals and sunglasses and dolls would go home in our suitcases. We did insist that they keep a few of the clothes they might outgrow, the soccer ball, and the jumpropes (telling them we would bring more next time). We found them trying to sneak in all our shampoo, lotions, and even the pads of butter from supper!

A World Away from South Dakota!

If Bruce and I didn't look out the window of the patio toward the hillside, we would soon forget where we were. One night after dark, I went out to pick up towels from the patio. All I saw from the spot this photo was taken was darkness and one small campfire. I heard dogs barking and a few baby cries. That was all. During the day, the zoom on the camera showed what we knew to be true: no electricity, no trash bins or pick-up, no plumbing, no streets, no windows. And this was one of the better parts of the city, where homes were built of sturdy stucco and where the water would not run as deep in a hurricane. They knew no different...nor did our Haitian kids.

We could only guess their enjoyment by the length of time they spent washing their hands in warm water. They were careful to share everything from their snacks to pool toys to markers. They didn't seem to understand that what we had brought was actually just for them. At supper, Pierre would take my plate from the server if he tried to clear it with any food remaining. He would eat what he could and then would offer it to the rest of the kids at the table. Likewise, the kids would put any item they might not like, like radishes or scrambled eggs, on my plate to eat. We decided we would need to work on "cleaning our plates" more back at home, to avoid any disrespect they might feel seeing us waste so much food.

It was fun to see what clothes they preferred...since we'd been guessing on what to send them until then. Ange-Laurette rummaged through a stack of clothes to pick anything sparkly or dress-like each day, just as we were sure she did each day at the orphanage. Pierre took a liking to the more formal polo shirts and khaki belted shorts, rather than the swishy athletic shorts and tees boys prefer here. He was so careful to fold up his clothes each day and return them to his side of the suitcase. Trash went on the floor...or over the side of the patio railing, as we noticed was a part of culture there. All else was meticulously picked up.

We watched them in wonder and soaked in every little moment. Still, we missed our kids at home and were anxious to hear news of a new baby nephew being born back in the States. It was hard to have no phone contact, but we had internet access for email and sent updates with photos nightly. That seemed to help Bailey and Nate feel connected to our experience. We knew that our purpose there was to bond with these kids....and that we did!!

How we passed the days...

For the next few days, we communicated amazingly through the nonverbals we normally take for granted. We said the few phrases we knew frequently: "How are you? Are you happy? We're happy to know you. We love you." We also had Turnbull's English/Kreyole dictionary to look up specific words we might need to use: wash, supper, bed, teeth, hungry, quiet, wait. We probably sounded funny, but we tried. So did they. Both kids were willing to repeat phrases in English. A couple times they had no choice. Once Ange-Laurette was in the center of the pool in a float and was obviously trying to tell Bruce to take her back to the side. (She was not fond of her first time in the pool, but she became an underwater fish by day three.) Bruce told her to say, "Take me to the side." Again, she called out the phrase in Kreyole. He repeated his request, and she yelled, "Tate me to da side!" They will learn quickly :)

They loved the pool, playing with dolls, coloring and writing in notebooks, picking out their clothes for each day/night, and choosing snacks from the large stash we brought with us. Tips for other parents traveling, that were shared with us: bring extra pairs of underwear as they insist on wearing them under swimsuits, favorite foods are Cheetos/jerky/poptarts/gummies, bring socks for the tile floors in cold air conditioned rooms, have dissolvable cough strips for the colds they catch, and bring bags of markers with paper to keep them busy during lengthy supper times. Ange-Laurette and the other girls had their hair braided special for our visit but still enjoyed having new beads/bands/barrettes put in each day. They love play watches, jewelry, caps, sunglasses, having their nails painted...just like any other kids their age. Hooded sweatshirts were a must when they got cold after swimming...and extra towels for the room and pool, to add to the only 3 or 4 you will have in your room. Our kids were content with the Disney channel on the television there, rather than sitting through entire DVDs that we had brought along. They also liked just playing matching card games, catch, soccer out in the grounds, jump rope, and talking with their friends. They are experts at making their own fun and playing a "jacks" type of game with rocks they find.

Leaving BRESMA, with the shirts on their backs ~

The other parents were eager to leave the orphanage and get to the hotel to enjoy time with their kids. On our next trip we hope to stay much longer at the orphanage, to spend time with all the children there and to get a better feel for their life there. It seemed strange to have the kids leave the orphanage with only the clothes on their back, but that was all they had. We had packed all the clothes, toys, and snacks they would need for the next 4 days and nights.

So, we all 12 piled in the van for another trip through Port-au-Prince to check in to our hotel. It was Friday afternoon, and we would stay there within the hotel complex until we returned the kids on Tuesday morning. We were encouraged to focus on bonding with the kids and to not venture out to the markets etc. on our own. If we wanted art etc on another trip, we could give the money to our driver to make the purchase...much better deals when not made by actual Americans!

In the van, Pierre immediately took off my sunglasses to wear on the trip. (Luckily we had packed a pair for each...which they insisted on wearing ALL the time...even to supper after dark.) As we drove, they both reached to hold our hands, leaning against us and looking up and smiling periodically. Bruce and I had that "new parents" look...of awe and pride and love! There was such a stark contrast between what we were feeling and would be experiencing at the hotel...and what we saw on the streets along the way. As Bruce and the other parents checked in, I sat with the kids on the couches in the lobby. They were chattering about going swimming and posing for as many photos as I would take. Pierre handed the camera to Ange-Laurette and said "Foto!" for the picture below of us. They also made several trips to the public restroom where they used western toilets and washed their hands in warm water with tons of soap!

A Day We'll Never Forget ~

I can say that for the first time in my life, I was truly speechless. We could scarcely take in the sights and sounds and smells! So much was new, and all we'd read and seen in pictures came to life. Our driver ranked right up there with the best of NASCAR: swerving to avoid potholes, slamming on his brakes to miss motorcycle drivers, inching ahead to discourage children begging at our window, and edging his way between cars to take a turn. The colors of the produce and artwork and clothing were vivid. The heat in the van with 6 others and the smell of exhaust in the city were overwhelming. One second we'd be saddened by a scary looking dog rummaging through the ever-present trash next to a child on the street. The next second we'd smile at a dad holding his young daugher's hand on the way home from school. We were mesmerized and didn't want to forget a single image. We pray we never forget.

So forty five minutes later, we turn off the busy streets and down a quiet alley where he stops. The other parents get out and knock on this gate with a rock. It is the door to the orphanage, where about 50 kids are eagerly awaiting our arrival. We are told that they will be instructed to stay seated at their lunch table and sing us a song as we arrive. Then, the nannies will introduce our children to us. Bruce had the videocamera, and I had the camera all ready to go!

There they were....Ange-Laurette in light blue and Pierre to her right. We could not contain ourselves and waved at them, only to see huge smiles and waves back at us! Without permission, they ran over to us with long, tight hugs. We just kept telling them we loved them and squealed with delight. After a couple minutes, Pierre disappeared and returned with his birthmother, who we knew was the cook at the orphanage. Without an interpreter, we spoke it all through our eyes and different languages. I said, "He's beautiful. Thank you. Are you ok? Are you happy?" She was beautiful and her bittersweet joy in this moment was real. We felt so grateful and so at peace. Again, the evidence of God was that we felt like we had known them forever....and the bond was immediate.

The flight from Miami to Port-au-Prince

So, March 13, 2009, a two hour delay waiting on the plane with about 200+ Haitians gave me extra time to pray and extra time to soak in this new culture and people. It didn't take long for us to realize that our Creole would not get us far. The beautiful woman in the seat behind us spoke a very quick and loud version of Creole the entire two hour trip. She also sang and hummed to herself when she was nervous about the take off and landings. :) It was a sunny day with islands seen periodically below. The time went by quickly, as we imagined over and over what the day would hold!

As we circled around the bay, we got a full view of the capital of Haiti, Port-au-Prince. It was beautiful from the air, with white sandy shores and mountains in the distance. Although, most of the hills were barren and sandy erosion was evident everywhere. Soon we would see the city up close. When we had left South Dakota two days before, it was a frigid 2 degrees and the airplane required de-icing. As we stepped off the plane in Haiti, it was a windy 91 degrees...a welcome change for these South Dakotans!

We rushed to get through customs only to find a long delay in retrieving our luggage. We were more patient with the process when we realized that the delay was due to 100 bins of medical supplies being unloaded for a mission group just arriving. We followed our guide's directions to stay close to our luggage and to expect to be mobbed by hundreds as we exited the airport. Since many in Haiti make only a few dollars a day on average, they hope to earn a tip by helping with your luggage. Two men out of the shouting crowd quickly claimed ours, and Bruce gave their tip to our driver to work it out with the men. While we waited in the van, one man kept begging to Bruce through the window for money. Bruce found it hard to look away from this man's desperation and his genuine words of blessing. After a few quiet but assertive words to the bystanders by our driver, we were off to the orphanage.

Planning our first trip

Even thinking about meeting Pierre and Ange-Laurette for the first time kept us up many nights. We would watch youtube videos of other families meeting their children for the first time, and we tried to picture what it would be like. Would they know who we were right away? Would we recognize them? Would they be happy? How would we communicate?

And then the enormity of me even traveling (over water!) to Haiti was a whole other thing to lay awake at night about. :) First of all, I do not like to be away from Bailey and Nate here at home for more than a couple days at a time. There would be a lot of juggling with grandparents and friends to coordinate their activities and care. We would not be able to communicate by phone with them once in Haiti. I was nervous about the food and climate and safety as well.

We kept reminding ourselves that this whole thing was out of our comfort zone. That is how God works! The situation itself demanded that we relied solely on Him for safety and protection. He wanted those children with us, and he would protect us. More than that, we knew there would be an immediate connection with the kids. We had heard otherwise from other parents who had adopted, but we just already felt so much for them...and we had no doubt that they would sense that.

A very generous family from California answered Diana's request and offered to travel with us for our first trip. They arranged the driver and were so very helpful every step of the way. This would be their 7th trip, and another family would be on their 4th trip. They shared tips on what to pack, gave advice on medication/food, and walked us through each eye-opening experience at the airports. We emailed other parents with kids about our kids' ages to ask things like sizes of shoes and types of snacks they would like etc. We would have been so lost without them! We wouldn't have remembered their favorite, Cheetos. And we would not have known to pack double the quantity of underwear since they insist on wearing them under swimsuits. :) One person mentioned hooded sweatshirts since they are not used to being cold after swimming. These were all big hits!

So friends and grandparents kindly jumped in to help with Nate and Bailey, and we had our first trip planned for mid-March!

Sharing the news ~

We prayed daily that they would have a peace about us when they saw our photos and heard the news.

It was not until January 26th, on Diana's next trip to Haiti, that the kids found out about their forever family. She brought them our backpacks full of toys/treats/clothes...and then shared the photo albums with our pictures. This is how they looked moments later!

Ange-Laurette had just lost her first tooth; hence the quiet grin. We got a kick out of the comb Pierre was holding in his hand for the photo. :) Diana shared that they were as immediately excited as any kids she'd told before. We were quick to explain that THAT had been our prayer.

Four days later, we had our first phonecall where we tried out our few phrases in Creole...and found out quickly how little we knew! They spoke fast and with energy. As soon as they heard us speak in their language, they went on and on. The only recognizable response was when I asked Ange-Laurettte, "Ou kontan?" (are you happy)....to which she answered a definitive "Wi!"

The other referral...meant to be!

We had been so excited when Diana mentioned Ange-Laurette that we didn't listen closely as she described another very special boy. She had previously warned us that older boys may be too rough by nature to our younger, mild-mannered son at home. So we simply missed God's other plan in that call.

But, as we know, God persists. :) About 10 days later, we received photos from Diana's trip which included this one. I said to Bailey, "Well, he sure looks nice. Maybe not all the older boys are rough." When we clicked on the header, we saw the name Pierre Cardin. Then, I remembered...that was the name Diana had mentioned in her referral phonecall. I paged through my notebook to find the notes I had taken from that phonecall. There it said: Pierre Cardin, about 10 years old, very caring and kind to younger children.

I forwarded the picture to Bruce at work, saying "What do you think? Please!" We called Diana with more questions and details: how would he and Ange-Laurette be as siblings, how are they together, what are his interests, etc. Soon, we found out that Pierre was also meant to call us his forever family. That bright, beaming smile only got bigger over the months ahead!

There she was!

So, this was the photo we had first seen when we searched for a child to merely sponsor through monthly donations. We actually happened upon it twice within the same search that afternoon.

Her name was Ange-Laurette. The short excerpt explained that her home had been destroyed in a hurricane. Her father was deceased. She and her mother had chosen adoption, after a temporary stay at the orphanage. She was described as intelligent, with a buoyant spirit.

I printed out her photo and set it in a frame, as a face to picture as we dreamed about the children that might eventually be matched specifically to our family. Still, this face stuck with me. I prayed for this girl and her future, even as I prayed for God to direct each step of our own adoption process. I even asked Diana about her once and was told that she did not yet have a forever family. The connection to her and all that she spoke through her eyes was undeniable.

So, on December 3, 2008, when Diana called with exciting news about a match for our family we were thrilled, yet not surprised, that God had chosen us for Ange-Laurette's forever family. We had to cover up the phone to hide our squeals...and we did not need a moment longer to accept.

A dream in a package ~

As we completed the dossier, with the endless paperwork and costly copies, etc, we put together two identical mini photo albums for Diana to share with our future referrals. We tried to make sure we had the same number of photos of our 3 kids here and then of the school, yard, bedrooms, sports, and all. We added short headings or notes like: You will like it here! Bruce is a good dad! We're just missing you! Our excitement boxing them up to mail could hardly be contained.

Why adopt TWO children?

As quickly as we had decided to adopt ONE child in the first place...is how quickly we realized that adopting TWO was the best decision. We were concerned about how a child from Haiti would feel about being taken from their country, culture, and only home they had ever known...into this frozen tundra. :) We wondered how they would adapt without anyone who spoke their native language or anyone who understood their unique history. In a town in eastern South Dakota with so little diversity, we knew that it would be tough for any child of a different race. Yet, we knew that they could have a profound impact on our family, our friends, our school, our church, and our community.

At the same time, we realized that this step toward adoption would be a HUGE change to our home and everyday from that point on. As Bruce looked into the fees associated with adoption, he saw that so much of the cost is related to the paperwork and processing. Those fees are not doubled with an additional child...only the childcare fees and the visa costs. (The real costs occur when the kids arrive HOME!!)

About that time, our 6-year-old son expressed his adament desire to adopt a boy, so he would not be left out with two girls here. It was settled. We would talk to Diana about the possibility of adopting a boy and girl, whether they were biologically related or not. Each would have the opportunity to bond with one of our children in our home....we had two empty bedrooms...and we had at least that much love to go around!

How did we decide to adopt?

Looking back, the process we went through deciding to adopt was so unlike us. We are big-time planners. We usually have our pros and cons list and talk to others and research big decisions for a few months at least. This was so different. That is why we have no better way to explain it other than a "calling."

Now that we have been asked a few dozen times "HOW" we decided to adopt, we have had time to reflect on how God had planted that seed years ago. I remember as a little girl that I was simply heartbroken to watch evangelical television stories from Africa, seeing pictures of starving children, and hearing adoption stories. Even as a child, I knew I wanted to become a nurse or teacher. As a school psychologist now, I get a bit of both worlds. Anyway, my heart for the less fortunate and for kids in general was cemented a long time ago.

Another seed was our 10 years in the Kansas City area. Our oldest son will still never forgive us for moving north to South Dakota his freshman year of high school! He loved the big city, and especially the diversity of people. We recall him trying to describe a good friend of his after his second grade musical program at school. I asked what she looked like. He said she had a pink shirt, dark eyes, and about a hundred braids. His 7-yr-old birthday party had 3 children of a different race, and Dane is still teaching us to appreciate "color" in our lives.

In 2006, Dane then traveled to Cuba with Bruce on a mission trip. They held baseball clinics and worked on a church there. The experience profoundly touched both of them. They were most touched that a people with so little could be so full of joy and faith. They fell in love with the people there and knew that their list of "wants" would be much shorter on their return to the US.

My youngest sister, Joelle, has increased our world-view, too, with her study in China and trips around the world. Her sincere desire to understand the people and to appreciate their culture was something we thought we could not relate to...but she was obviously quietly teaching us through her experiences.

Finally, our church has been instrumental...in so many aspects of our "walk" but also in this decision to adopt. Through Sunday School Chrismas boxes we've filled to needy kids in other countries, Bruce's work in the Mission Commission, and a concert by the African Children's choir...God was knocking on our hearts. We left the Christian music LifeLight Festival this Labor Day knowing we needed to go online and finally sponsor a child. We would have a child to pray over and support, and they would know that they were not alone.

The day was September 15th, 2008. Our teenage daughter Bailey and I sat at the computer and browsed websites of various orphanages and sponsorship programs. Twice, the site for Lighthouse Adoptions came up. We clicked on "waiting children." We were mesmerized by a young girl at the BRESMA orphanage in Haiti. When Bruce got home from work, we rushed him into the office and showed him the pictures on the website. At the top, an older girl with braids in every direction and a shy grin. At the bottom, a younger girl sitting on a woman's lap laughing. Near each was their story. You could choose to sponsor them while they waited 1-3 years to be adopted by a family. Both said they were intelligent and needed families who could meet their "special needs."

We turned to look to Bruce. He was quiet and had tears in his eyes...and then suggested that it seemed odd to "sponsor" one of these children, when we were sitting in one of our two available bedrooms, in a family that loved kids/parenting, and with the means to adopt them as part of our family forever. I would've loved a picture of Bailey and I at that moment. We were ecstatic. "Are you serious?!" I agreed to call the adoption coordinator, Diana Boni, that next day for more information on the girls' availability and what their specific "special needs" were. (More on the story regarding how we decided on two older children later....)

Seriously, that is how quickly we decided to adopt from Haiti. And, honestly, there has not been a moment since that the decision has not made perfect sense. Yes, we laugh and say, "What are we doing?!" as we picture how our lives will change and as we try to financially cover the many costs. But, we don't doubt for a second that it is exactly what God had planned for our family. He led us back to this town, to this new home, to my part-time job with summers off, and to a church with great supportive faithful friends. He laid all those experiences before us. He opened our hearts. And then he burdened our hearts for these kids LONG before we considered adoption. So, when the decision came, it was clear and quick. THAT is how God works!

Why create a blog?

Today we received a new book we had ordered, "Seven Days in Haiti" by Michael Barrick. Even the introduction and forward will take your breath away and touch you to the core. As we read portions aloud after supper, we realized something about this whole experience of adopting from Haiti. Each step seems to take forever...but then amazingly passes so quickly. We are changing as individuals and as a family. We are learning and growing exponentially more each day, yet we have not been documenting the journey.

Up until now, we had decided to share pictures and stories with friends and family, but to keep our experience more personal otherwise. The truth is that without the information and experiences we have read from other families' adoptions from Haiti, we would be lost! Or, at least, we would be much more uneasy about the process. More importantly, we would be missing the joy in each step of the process. Knowing that others have been there and now have their children safe at home brings so much hope.

So, over the next few days and weeks, we hope to share parts of our journey. This is not just for those hoping to adopt or for those wanting to follow our adventure. It is to inspire each reader to find a similar "adventure" or way to profoundly change a life....minimally, their own.