Summer fun!

A new, fun swimsuit is worth it for this "fish"!














An end-of-season soccer party that ended up being more football, swimming, and beanbag than soccer!



They found out that you don't really make a lot of money when you have 5 workers each shift of the lemonade stand!

Helpful tips on attachment issues ~

Although all of our friends and family see both kids as very well adjusted and endearing (as WE have also professed so many of the previous months), we have still had our difficulties at home with one of them. The issues are somewhat mild, but tough on the heart. As we struggle to work through attachment issues that are so common with children whose needs were not met in their early years, we found the helpful tips in the given website. Research shows that one of the most difficult issues with attachment disorders is that a family's support network does not see the same issues with the children. That, in itself, is part of the disorder. The child attaches more easily to others than the parents. Then, at home, they lie and manipulate and lack affection for their new parents. They have very low self-esteem and rely heavily on help from other adults, pretending to not know answers, etc.

So, in keeping with our vow to share openly with readers, we admit this struggle. We want to offer an honest reflection on this adoption experience. Soooo many more pros than cons...but hurdles around every corner, even 18 months after their arrival "home."

Read this article for some great tips on parenting your own child with attachment issues: http://www.attachmentdisordermaryland.com/parenting.htm

Encouragement as summer begins ~

Before I tackled the craziness of a new summer routine, I opened the Bible for some encouragement. As always, God spoke exactly what I needed to hear, through the words of Timothy:

1 Timothy 1:12 "I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service."

This passage reminded me two things. First...whenever people say to me, "How do you do it?!" or when they praise Bruce and me for what we've done through adoption, I need to take the opportunity to tell them that it has only been by God's strength. There is no other human explanation, because this has required EVERYthing Bruce and I were lacking: 1) patience, 2) the ability to put God in the driver's seat, and 3) total trust in God for direction.

Secondly, this passage reminded me that God called me to this mission because he "considered me faithful." He knew it would force me to rely even more on him. He also knew it would further his kingdom in so many behind-the-scenes ways. When I share this adoption story, I can literally see people's minds clicking and hearts stirring. It is as if their spirits were starting to whisper, "I want to do something big. What can I do? Where would I get that strength?" THAT is where the Holy Spirit begins to do its work.

So, at the beginning of what is sure to be a busy (and sometimes stressful) summer ~ I still thank God for his trust in me...for these 4 precious souls that he entrusted me with. I know he waits for me each day to turn to him for strength. May he tug at me each morning to seek peace of mind through reading the Bible. Only with his help will I be able to do him even a bit of justice on this Earth.

I concluded my short devotion for the day, reading two verses farther:

1 Timothy 1:14 "The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus."

Sooooo, I should be able to do this...right?! :)

Mother's Day surprise EARLY!

The kids are beaming in their beds right now. We had been reading a book I give moms of graduating seniors. It talks about all the "lasts" we forget to treasure as our little ones grow up: the last time they asked to be held, their last mid-day nap, their last soccer goal, etc. I was sharing with Pierre and Ange-Laurette how much I would have loved to see them crawl to me...or to hold them for hours as they ate as a newborn...or to see them learn to walk! I said that their own birthmothers did such a wonderful job with them, we can tell!

We talked about how to honor Pierre and Ange-Laurette's birthmothers again this Mother's Day. Last year, we had written notes to put in helium balloons. Then after praying praise to God for the whole adoption process and the gift these two women gave to our familiy, we released the balloons on Mother's Day. They really want to do that again this year.

We decided that, even though we didn't have any good way to communicate with their families in Haiti, we should try to call. Both kids have lost all of their Creole for now. They cannot remember any key phrases, and they for sure do not understand native speakers...at their speed and accent. Ange-Laurette has only had the one call last spring with her birthmother. The conversation was short, and Ange-Laurette has not wanted to call again since. Tonight, we didn't give her a choice...and we are SO glad!

I dialed the cell phone number I had for her birthmother. The minute she heard Ange-Laurette say her name, she squealed with delight. She kept repeating her name and asking if she was ok. They were only able to exchange the few basics that Bruce and I learned for our trip to Haiti: "How are you? I miss you. I love you. I am very fine." Then, I tried to thank her again and tell her how much we love Ange-Laurette...how beautiful she is. Her birthmother said that she had received the photobook we had delivered to Haiti. (Luckily that is easy enough to understand since "fotos" is "photos" :) Her voice was strong and full of joy. She had a short chuckle like Ange-Laurette has, and they did so at the same time when Ange-Laurette asked "pale angle?" (do you speak English?)...and her birthmother gave a definitive "no." After the phone call, Ange-Laurette danced throughout the house and ran to tell Pierre about it. They jumped up and down, repeating each word.

(talking with Pierre's birthmother our first visit - March 2009)

Pierre, too, was able to connect with an older brother who speaks a few things in English. His birthmother was there and talked with him briefly. She had received her photo book also and thanked us over and over. Pierre was not as frustrated this time, trying to communicate. He just said what he wanted to in English and persisted as if they understood. His eyes sparkled in a way that is hard to explain. But it was the PERFECT Mother's Day gift to me as well.

Just to know my kids know who they are. To see them feel so loved. To watch their whole bodies fill with pure joy. To see God's hand in it all....again, for this moment in time.



So many busy days I overlook the many little miracles it took for these two children to be safe and sound in their warm beds tonight. I underestimate their deep attachment to two other women a world away. I forget the importance of keeping them connected, if even for a 3 minute phonecall a few times a year. I am so grateful for the love they had for their children, and the privilege to provide them with the life they so desired for them! It's a HAPPY Mother's Day in Port-au-Prince...and here in South Dakota.

Ange-Laurette's new style!

Although Bailey and I were getting much better at braiding and beading Ange-Laurette's hair, she was excited to try something new. I had caught her several times with that disappointed look in the mirror. I had heard enough comments that she didn't like her hair or didn't think she was pretty. It is so disheartening when any mother hears her daughter say things like that...because we see them as simply so beautiful.

I'd been talking with my hairdresser and good friend about Chris Rock's documentary "Hair" that was highlighted on an Oprah episode. In it, he explains how we white gals have NO idea the amount of time, money, and effort that goes into caring for black hair. The importance of their hair to be styled nice/unique...and for others to NOT touch it...was not something I had understood. We agreed to have Ange-Laurette try extensions in her hair, so it could be styled just the way she wanted. Every girl dreams of long hair at one point in time, right?!

We chose the intricately braided strands that fall in zigzag waves, so they would hold up well and look more natural for a young girl. I was surprised at how quickly the process went. She would be able to shampoo and swim with them in, and the braids could be used more than once! After cornrowing her hair all to the back, extensions were sewn (latchhooked) in one at a time right through the cornrows. About 125 strands, folded in half...two hours...and wah lah!

A new normal ~

This entry is for all those new adoptive parents who wonder at times, like we did, if we would ever gain our bearings again! We just returned from Spring Break at a nearby waterpark (our version of Disney!), and we can say tell you, with confidence, that there will be a day!

So many evenings I have wanted to update our blog but did not have any new, exciting issue or achievement to report. THAT is progress! The kids just have this true sibling closeness. Yes, they bonded early on and have been amazing, but it is different and so much more natural now. They understand all each others' quirks, know where to take their punches :) , and yet defend each other to the end. They seem to appreciate their differences/uniqueness and are not as sensitive about "fairness" anymore. Bruce and I have found a way to spend individual time with each one. We are more intentional about our bedtime routines so we have time to really listen to them. Every single day lately, there is talk of Haiti or where they have been. The kids are more honest about the hardships and have the vocabulary to share details we had not heard before.

This weekend, our family has been asked to present at our local "Unity in Diversity" event. In preparing, we've been talking about the things we want others to learn from our experience. We also want the kids to be able to tell all about the country they know and love so much. They will teach games and songs, mixed with stories of real life in Port-au-Prince. We will explain how our eyes have been opened...and how tricky it has been to teach them to fit in this new culture while still respecting their Haitian culture.

We cannot express how proud we are of Pierre and Ange-Laurette. This has been a long road filled with hard work for them. Others see how "lucky" or "blessed" they are to be here...but we know that it has not been easy. There are many hurdles ahead still, but we are a true family...

and we will all be fine! YAY!!

The voice of an angel

We are trying to figure out how to download a video clip of Ange-Laurette singing a solo in church two weeks ago. It was a very touching moment, not just for us, but for so many others who listened. Since that morning, people have stopped her over and over to tell her how beautiful she sounded. They have also made a point to tell Bruce and I how it brought them to tears. To hear that angelic voice, with her Haitian accent, singing praises to the God who has watched over her and protected her. It was precious.

Ange-Laurette has grown a lifetime in just one year. She has had to slowly shed the layers that served as her protection for so many years. Her entire childhood was like nothing we can imagine. To trust and to feel and to love again must be so difficult for her. But she is doing all three. And we are very blessed to be her parents and to learn so much from her resiliency.