Pierre Cardin turns 9!

Neither child has celebrated their birthdays before. Parents do know the birthdates of their children but do not go as overboard as we do in the US! They do not have the means to buy gifts and make birthday cakes, but they do find ways to celebrate special occasions such as a relative visiting by having a meal together and maybe adding meat. We wanted Pierre to feel special by celebrating his birthday, which had been August 22nd. I had packed unfrosted cupcakes in a tupperware container and spread on frosting/sprinkles when we arrived. We sang "Happy Birthday" and Pierre "blew" out the unlit candle, with a friend from BRESMA2 who was staying at the hotel.

This trip, Pierre had a more difficult time. He tended to pout and go off on his own when he was corrected (more so by me than by Bruce). He acted much more like our younger son than the 10 or 11 year old we assumed he was, based on his height and full mouth of adult teeth. On the last day of our visit, we invited his birthmother to the hotel. Two American missionaries joined us and willingly interpreted our conversation with her. The information we learned was invaluable! Pierre's birthmother was very adamant that he was born in 2000 and had indeed just turned 9 years old. She explained that his father and two older brothers are very tall (taller than Bruce) and that they were judged as older than their true age also. When asked how best to respond to his pouting tendency, she said that she offers much attention and comfort. The interpreters further explained that mothers in Haiti tend to "serve" their sons, rather than discipline or tell them what to do. THAT, in a nut shell, explained what we had observed for the previous few days. Pierre is just a young boy who is not used to a "mom" like me. :) He is also a very caring, sensitive person...which makes all of this much more difficult. But the fact that he is acting more like himself tells us he is trusting us and bonding well.

Bailey meets Pierre and Ange-Laurette

One of the harder things to put into words is how amazing our teenage daughter Bailey was on this trip. We had no question how she and the kids would hit it off, but we had no idea the joy and energy she would have about it all. She ate up every minute until she crashed at night, at the same early bedtime they seemed to need. They talked to her as if she could understand their quick Creyole, and vice versa. You never would have guessed that they spoke two different languages. Bailey had brought walkie talkies that helped them try out their much improved English as they walked throughout the hotel grounds. That was one of the greatest surprises this trip...that they had obviously been working on their English and were very eager to share as much as they could, right down to ABC flashcards with vocabulary words to match.

The other awesome surprise was how much healthier they seemed. From skin tone, to scalp, to eye brightness, to less bulging tummies, they just seemed vibrant and content. Neither was as famished, as they demonstrated by not eating every morsel from their salads and not rummaging as often through the snack bin. The "super food" they have been receiving is worth every penny any mission group wishes to spend. The difference in just a few months, for all the kids at the orphanage, is life-changing in their learning, their energy, and their health.

One of the things Bailey has been studying up on is all the ways she can do Ange-Laurette's hair. She didn't waste any time getting practice! Pierre joined in! With the heat index of 119 degrees, we spent long days in the pool and afternoons playing games or doing crafts in our room. They progressed from their early fears of the water to Pierre doing canon balls from the side and laying on the bottom of the pool...and to Ange-Laurette teaching herself to do 50 bobs and multiple somersaults underwater. Their determination and courage will come in handy in the years ahead.

Finally ready to share about Trip 2

The delay in sharing the details from our second trip to Haiti are two-fold. One reason is simply the day-to-day things that have kept us on our toes since returning: catching up with Nate, returning to work issues, getting back into tennis/soccer games of the kids, a trip to the Black Hills with my family, etc. But the second reason for the delay in writing is more intentional. This trip was unlike the first. It hit our hearts hard and has been much more difficult to put into words. This photo was taken on our drive to Mnpls where we caught our plane. We prayed then and there and knew God was traveling with us. Still, this feeling lingered that left me concerned about more than the heat we would face in Haiti. As excited as I was to spend time with the kids and as certain as I was that the bonding would only grow stronger....I was sensing how much harder it might be to see the reality of their life there...and how difficult it would be to explain to them that we would be leaving again. And that it was!

Preparing for our Second Visit

We knew that our son's August wedding would help ease the long 5 1/2 month wait between visits to Haiti....and it did! The wedding was all we prayed for ~ touching, fun, and memorable! We were able to sit back and watch this child that we raised turn into a man right before our eyes. His genuine toasts, his emotion, and his seriousness in making such a commitment were evident. We were so proud of him....and so thankful to our God. Even the most fragile and tumultuous of beginnings....even the most difficult of situations...they cannot hold down the plans of God and his special purpose in each life he creates.

This led us to believe more than ever that God is also in control of this adoption process. He can lead loving mothers to place their hopes in an orphanage....and can lead those children from the orphanage to our home here....while holding each of the people involved in his loving arms throughout the process. The heartache is different for each person, but so is the inner joy in the eventual outcome.

So, here we are, only two weeks away from seeing Pierre and Ange-Laurette again! This time, our teenage daughter will travel with us and meet her new brother and sister for the first time. As we lay out their clothing for each day and select the toys and treats they might like, it again seems surreal. How we can feel so connected and IN LOVE with these two is amazing. Last night, I laid awake for two hours in the night, envisioning our reunion and what we might want to be sure to tell them when interpreters are available. I thought of moments I would want to capture on camera and video. I tried to picture the whole thing from their viewpoint as well.

We do ask for your prayers: for the hurricanes this season to stay far from Haiti, for our flights to arrive and leave on the days scheduled, and for continued bonding just like our last visit. We also pray for the hearts of these children and their birthmothers...that God would calm their fears and fill them with joy at the opportunities they have chosen for the children they love.

Priceless

Thanks to another adopting mom who visited Haiti last week, we just received the photos below of Pierre and Ange-Laurette. It came at the best time! Have you ever had one of the days/weeks where you were just in a funk? Then, there is this phonecall from an old friend or a fun letter in the mail? That is how we felt. We knew so many families had visited this summer. We also knew that our two kids would be watching these reunions and seeing their friends return from days at a motel....without OUR visit within sight. Without new photos or contact, the whole process starts to seem less real, yet the hole in our hearts remains. So, when I opened email to find 3 photos of them out of the blue, my spirit soared!We are sure that Pierre grew a couple inches! We are more certain than ever that his birth certificate (stating that he is soon turning 9) is a ways off. We will take care of that when they finally arrive home, through a dentist and doctor professional estimate of their ages. The next photo taken in the front yard area of the orphanage as the other family arrived shows Pierre and Ange-Laurette watching, with his hand on her shoulder. We were touched by his gesture and the bonding that is obviously taking place between them. We do have to emphasize that so many wonderful, fun things are going on at home here in South Dakota. This blog is not our family blog with day to day happenings. It's purpose is to share details of the adoption that might help others...and that will keep our friends and family up to date on our progress. Even in our conversations with others here, Pierre and Ange-Laurette come up as often as our other kids do. They are equally a part of the family...not more of a focus but also not less loved. Our kids understand that and feel the same way. That being said, we have to share that our oldest son and his fiance will be married in two short weeks! After nearly 5 years together, they will start their lives as husband and wife in the Twin Cities area. We can hardly wait for that fun weekend!! Bailey finished her summer softball season on a new team with a ton of pitching success and several new friends, for her and us! We had a fun Bible study on teenage topics Tuesdays this summer with her 9 friends. We've been blessed with her receptiveness and her determination to follow Christ. Nate has his last swimming lesson today and has become a fish this summer. He has grown nearly as much as Pierre appears to have! We have noticed how much he needs a live-in buddy like Pierre, as he always is asking to have a friend over to play. Nate is talking more about the kids in Haiti and saying how well he thinks they will get along. THAT we will continue to pray about! :) I should laugh at my complaints of crazy days, juggling just two children's activities this summer. We have no idea what the future holds!

Always on our minds ~

There's never a short response to "How was your trip?" There just simply is no way to describe it without giving God all the glory. His hand has been evident in each aspect of this adoption process. It makes us a little sad when people look at us skeptically when we say that...or when they underestimate the power of prayer throughout the past few months. But we will keep giving credit where credit is due! It has been 3 months now since our trip to Haiti. We won't be able to visit again until September. As the months have passed, our emotions have taken the typical roller coaster ride that many adoptive parents experience. We definitely left a piece of ourselves there at BRESMA. There are not many hours that pass without thinking about Pierre and Ange-Laurette, just like we do our other 3 children. They are missed at the table and in the car and at each family gathering, as if we all knew them for years.

We sent each of them a small photo album with all the pictures we had taken in Haiti. Our adoption coordinator, Diana, delivered them in April when she visited. She also had us call so Pierre and Ange-Laurette could sing me happy birthday. This time, Diana was able to interpret a few of the things they said, which meant so much. They listed a few requests: that we send a doll with hair, good smelling body lotion, super hero figurines, and Gran-may-gran (my mom)! They insist that my mom join us for one of the trips. How can kids already know the spoiling that is bound to happen?! Diana also surprised us with a Mother's Day package of artwork and notes the kids had done for us while she was there at the orphanage. Above are a few of their drawings next to the next packages we sent their way.

As tough as it is to know we have 3 more months before we can see them, we choose to stay positive...knowing that they will be safe and cared for until the day they join us. We eagerly await each new photo through email, from either the nannies or our adoption coordinator. Each photograph (even if we just catch a glimpse of them in the background) is so treasured! One day we received an email that a huge donation of superfood had arrived to their orphanage, after years of being held in customs for needed paperwork and fees. There was a photo of Pierre holding his personal packet. Each child would be able to have one meal a day, to supplement their other food, for 3 months. Another photo showed Ange-Laurette close-up enough to see that her new tooth had grown in! The photos remind us that they are doing well.

The most recent photos were taken as they opened packages we had sent with other visiting families. These are especially fun to see! A friend bought us a kit to iron photos onto t-shirts for them. Pierre's t-shirt had a photo of our two sons at a football game; Ange-Laurette's said "my new family" in creyole and had all 3 kids from our trip to an amusement park last summer. I'm not sure who enjoys the gift packages more: Pierre and Ange-Laurette or ME, as I get to shop for them and think through what might be most meaningful. The most fun part is trying to include a handwritten note with photos, in both English and my attempt at Creyole. It's a treat to be able to send things, and we hope it lets them know that we remember their favorites; we miss them; and we love them like crazy!

The question: How could you leave them?

Parents commented before we made the trip, "I don't think I could leave them once I met them!" We have heard this as many times as we have heard, "Why does the adoption process take so long?!" They are fair, but tough, questions/comments. For us, Pierre and Ange-Laurette led the way. They seemed to have a better understanding of the process...of the long time it takes...and of the reasons their birthparents chose adoption for them. We had one sad night where Pierre had a tear running down his cheek before bed. And this photo was taken on the ride back to the orphanage. They kept hoping our answer to "when are you coming back" would change. Many parents would return in June, but we needed to wait until September. As we arrived, Pierre conceded: "Oke. Septanm." They ran inside, with their backpacks filled with enough toys and treats to share with all the kids there. They would be King and Queen for the day, along with the other two families' kids returning. We handed out the purses we had gotten for the nannies there. An interpreter helped us with a conversation with Pierre's birthmother. It was an emotional yet sweet time as we both shared how God had answered our prayers at the same time. We told her, "We love Pierre already." She responded, "I love you already." The kids mingled with their friends and gave quick hugs goodbye.

We held back our tears until the van door closed and we heard the youngest girl crying for her mother, who sat behind us. The trip to the airport was long...and the scenery even harder to watch pass by. But it reminded us exactly WHY we are doing what we are doing...and how life changing this will be for these kids.