The gift of optometry

We had Ange-Laurette and Pierre's vision and hearing screened at school. Both passed the hearing but Ange-Laurette had 20/50 vision in one of her eyes. That night I told her that the nurse had called and said she could not see very well out of her right eye. Ange-Laurette said matter-of-factly, "Yes, this eye does not work." We told her that there are eye doctors that can prescribe glasses to help her see. You should have seen her face. She said, "Sunglasses?" She had no idea that the glasses people wear are not strictly for fashion or that there was a way to improve vision. Now that I think about it, I don't remember seeing anyone in glasses on the streets in Haiti. There are so many things we take for granted, especially related to our healthcare.

Yesterday, she had a thorough eye exam. When the doctor showed her what her vision would be like with glasses, Ange-Laurette yelled with a smile, "I can see! It is clean!" Even though Bruce encouraged me to have them remove all pink glasses from the shelves before Ange-Laurette started to try some on....she found a pink, glittery pair that is definitely "her." When she looked in the mirror she said, "I am beautiful." THAT she is!

The same morning she lost her first tooth here. At dinner, she and Pierre explained to us that, in Haiti, you throw your tooth over the house when you lose it. If you do this, a new white tooth will grow in its place. If you just throw the tooth on the ground, you will never grow in a new tooth there! (And they think OUR tooth fairy stories are silly!) I asked Ange-Laurette if she wanted to throw her tooth over the roof. She said, "No, me want the money." Beautiful....AND smart!

Celebrating 2 months "home"

We are also celebrating that spring is now here. If you block out the two foot snowdrifts and pile of boots by the door, you can almost hear the robins singing!! The kids have spent their entire lives outdoors in Haiti, so this has been a long wait. They were so excited to get out the bikes, scooters, sidewalk chalk, and jumpropes to play like they are used to. Nate set up t-ball in the backyard with frisbees as bases. Besides lifting the wrong knee when batting, they are hitting balls over the neighbors fence already. Pierre has mastered riding bike and asks to do so the second he arrives home from school each day. Bruce took Ange-Laurette on a little father-daughter date last night to pick out the pinkest/girliest bike they could find...princess helmet to boot! As hard as we try to steer her otherwise, she is eating up the chance to be a princess here. :)


Bailey and I had our first attempt at unbraiding Ange-Laurette's hair and then washing and brushing it in preparation for her appointment with our friend and stylist Carol. We helped the long process by buying the new "Princess and the Frog" DVD to watch as we worked. As always, I was disappointed by the need for such scary parts in a Disney movie, especially when they involved VooDoo and ghosts which are portrayed as so real to people in Haiti. I didn't do my homework in reviewing that one! Ange-Laurette was so patient with our 3 hours and then the next day with Carol's 2+ hours of rewashing, conditioning, and braiding. We are blessed to have someone so kind and talented right here in town! Ange-Laurette loved every minute of her pampering. Long awaited and well deserved.


The two-month-home anniversary was almost like an instant turning point with both kids. We have no more lengthy pouting spells with Pierre. He is able to talk through situations and understand our intent behind rules and correcting. We hear him telling himself, "that's ok" and "maybe later." He notices when he is treated younger than the other 3rd grade boys and does not like it. Even though Pierre tries to ask the other kids to stop things like tickling or chasing, he is not always successful. Overall, the other students have been awesome and accepting, but we are working with his teacher to help stop this "babying" of both kids. For Ange-Laurette, the two-month-mark meant so much more talking and laughing and being herself. She belly laughs about such appropriate things! There has not been any English vocabulary the past few days that either child did not appear to understand. They grab books and try to read them alone in the other room. Ange-Laurette even asked to have a sleepover in Bailey's bedroom downstairs...a first!


We were finally able to reach Pierre's birthmother by cell phone. She was thrilled that he had his chipped tooth repaired, and repeatedly shared that she was happy that he was safe and with a loving family. Pierre was switching between English and Creole as he spoke...Me go Biblioteka. His birthmother said to him, "You can't speak Creyole?" He corrected her and said that he and Ange-Laurette do speak Creole to each other. I felt bad for him because I think he was just excited and nervous. It must be hard to switch back and forth. Both kids also talked to their favorite nanny from the orphanage on the phone. They were disappointed when she said that Haiti is still "broken" and sometimes still "trembles." It was reminder to us to keep praying and to keep giving thanks that the kids are here!

Countless "WOW"s

Sensory overload for sure! I took the kids to the Mall of America while Bruce helped Dane and Ashley with moving. Between the indoor amusement park, number of stores, and mere variety of people, they were constantly just saying, "Wow. Wow, Mom." Everyone got to pick one thing. Guess who chose what?! A new American Girl doll in a pink dress, a set of miniature helmets, a new pair of beaded shoes, and a light-up sword. For growing up with so little, there is still an issue with their sense of "entitlement," as our adoption coordinator calls it. It is obvious that they did not hear what all of us did so often growing up, "What do you say? What do you tell them?" It can be frustrating but so understandable at the same time.


Pierre, Ange-Laurette, and Nate FINALLY got to swim at the motel. They have waited 7 weeks for the day. Hours upon hours of playing shark and counting sommersaults underwater. It brought back memories of being a little girl at the pool and calling out repeatedly, "Mom, watch!" As I watch them through each new experience, I always have this unseen backdrop of where they might have been otherwise...and I feel so super blessed to be part of this.

A reminder verse, from Christian friends...

Psalm 20 ~ May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May He send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. May He remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings. May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your requests. Now I know the Lord saves His annointed; He answers them from His holy heaven with the saving power of His right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm. O Lord, save the king! Answer us when we call!

Returning from a weekend trip to Minneapolis as a family of 6, this verse holds special meaning! :) We hope that we are painting a fair picture of this journey of adoption. We have chosen to focus on the positive and to never forget the blessing in it all. But, we also don't want to deny the challenges and exhaustion in the day-to-day adjustments. As a mom, it is a constant process of teaching, correcting, and praising. Each sentence needs to be spoken or interpreted carefully. Each new experience needs to be explained and walked through. Every lesson we teach our children between the ages of 2 and 5 are ones that we are faced with each day: pans are hot, outlets are dangerous, look both ways before crossing the street, use an indoor voice, don't push, say excuse me, buckle up, only sit on furniture, flush, use your fork, ask before taking, etc, etc. You get the idea. By the end of each day, I am hoping that my love for them and joy in having them here as part of our family is not overshadowed by all the other things I am having to teach. Each morning, I pray for the patience and strength that I know God can provide.

The way that Bruce and I have chosen to parent is a tougher route than many choose. We believe in giving each child all the love and attention and teaching that we can. We don't believe that we can buy that or hand that over to others to do for us. We make sure our rules and expectations line up with what God teaches, and that they are surrounded with enough positive and one-on-one time from us. Most of all, we try to model the behavior we expect in how we prioritize our time, money, and energy. We fall short every day, but we wake up and try again the next day. :) Anyway, when you parent in that way and live in that way...adding two additional children mid-way is taking about all that is in us. We are taking our time and being careful to do this "right" because we know it will pay off.

Sometimes the photos speak for themselves!

Pierre came walking into the house carrying a miniature snowman one day. He and Ange-Laurette decided to make a snowman family on the bench on our front porch, with socks for hats and crayons (that only they would have thought of) for eyes. Cute as can be!

We had a fun weekend with family over the weekend. We had our first sleepover at grandparents and taught Grandpa the hand-slapping-race game, that I never think looks too nice. They are good at it, and their friends keep offering to play it with them. It was fun to watch them interact so naturally with their new cousins. Kids just find games to play that don't take much language. Both kids even warmed up to my parents' dog, which was a very friendly and calm choice.



Every time I hear that song for Haiti on my Christian radio station, I can hardly contain myself. It stops me in my tracks and reminds me of the reality of what actually happened in the past 6 weeks. 230,000 Haitians surrounding our children's orphanage died. Millions are still just wandering without a home and with family members missing forever. Our kids were airlifted out, after days of aftershocks sleeping outside on a driveway. So much is being done to help their homeland, but the need is unimaginable! Its surreal actually. I see the images of Port-au-Prince in ruins on the television, but our kids are tucked in here in South Dakota sound asleep tonight. Please don't forget to pray tonight for everyone in Haiti, and all those affected by the tragedy of January 12th. And then, don't forget to pray thanks and praise for the safety, comfort, and privileges we have here.

Turning new leaves~

The kids ran in all excited the other day, yelling, "There IS grass under the snow!" After the winter we have had, I don't think they believed us that our pool would thaw and that there would be "green" on the trees one day. Hopefully, it will rain even harder the next few days to wash off the dirt and melt away more of the snow.

With the change of the season will be so many changes with Pierre and Ange-Laurette as well. One of the hardest things for them to understand is that there may not be total equity between children. For example, Nate's bowl of ice cream may look a little bigger...Bailey may get to buy new clothes with her own money...Ange-Laurette might get to join Mom for a trip to the grocery store. Each of these situations, Pierre has gotten very upset and has firmly said, "That's not fair." I think, this stems from the fact that they had so little with so many children at the orphanage. Each child appeared to receive the very same amount of everything. Any special treat or excess was shared among them. We have tried to explain that we love them all equally and will always give them what they need...but that they will be treated as individuals and will have very different life experiences here.

Yesterday, Ange-Laurette tried on a new swimsuit (since her other two did not fit) and Nate noted that he had 3 swimwuits but that only one fit that he liked. Pierre brought out his one pair of swimtrunks and said, "I love my swimsuit!" Then he added, "She has 3 swimsuits. He has 3 swimsuits. Me have one swimsuit. This is fair. This is good." We all applauded! HUGE progress (sarcasm intended by him or not!)

The other big change is the amount of affection Ange-Laurette is expressing (and tolerating). She is such a strong little girl. This protected her from the sights and sounds in her early years in a very rough area of Port-au-Prince. She has a tough exterior and a great sense of humor that have served her well. However, she has also kept friends and adults at a safe distance, over the years. In the past two weeks, she is offering hugs and holding hands and sitting closer during stories. She puts her arm around us to lead us to a game she wants to play. She replies to my "I love yous" with "I love you too" ...and recently says that to Bruce, too. It shows that she is trusting us and believes what we keep telling her: She will always be our daughter, and she will never have to go back to the orphanage...although we will visit Haiti when we can.

Getting into a routine

This experience will make me a better school psychologist. First of all, I can appreciate how difficult it is to simply juggle 4 children's home-school communication, lunches, and homework. Secondly, I now know first-hand what it is like to spend one hour on a simple science concept learned in school...or another hour on a worksheet that might take other students 10 minutes. The amount of patience and encouragement it requires to avoid shut down and to get optimal work out of them is HUGE. We are trying to remember how exhausted they must be. The language and new routines themselves are tiring. We want to focus on the basics and the most important things. The fact that they love school so much is such a plus. We are so proud of their efforts and progress!

Last night Pierre was able to contact his older brother by phone in Haiti. It is the only number we have that is going through at this time. He was able to talk with all 4 older siblings as they sat together somewhere in Port-au-Prince and asked Pierre questions (about the cold, food, and friends) and gave him instruction (to obey parents, eat what he is given, and not ever quit school). His brother was able to tell me in English that they are so happy for Pierre, and then he thanked me repeatedly. I asked Pierre to tell his family that WE are the ones who are so happy, and that we love Pierre so much. It was great to hear Pierre talk so fluently in Creole still...and to laugh as he explained that he is not cold...that he has lots of jackets! We're grateful for technology and that he has the ability to stay in touch with his birthfamily.